If You Struggle With Meditation, This is 100% Why...

I walked into the Rochester Zen Center a year ago, not knowing I was about to sign up for the Meditation Olympics. Spoiler alert: It changed my life.

Here’s what no one tells you about meditation—most people suck at it because they don’t know how to sit. Literally.

I was one of them.

Turns out, sitting still is an art form. And if you don’t know how to do it properly, you’re screwed before you even close your eyes. Your body aches, your knees scream, and your back feels like it’s carrying 20 years of bad posture. Meditation quickly turns into a wrestling match with your spine.

But once you learn to sit like a monk, half the battle is won. I will teach you how to master it because, trust me, you don’t want to spend hours trying to find enlightenment while your legs go numb.

Step 1: Sit Like You Mean It

Meditation isn’t just about the mind—it’s about the body. If your body’s wobbling like a drunk flamingo, your brain will follow suit. So, let’s get one thing straight—stability is king.

• Stability: Think tripod. Whether you’re on a cushion or a chair, you want three points of contact—your sit bones and knees (or feet if you’re in a chair). This keeps you grounded, balanced, and still. If your body’s steady, your mind has a fighting chance.

• Alignment: No more hunching. Straighten your spine. Imagine a string pulling the top of your head toward the ceiling. Shoulders are back, chest open, and chin slightly tucked. This isn’t just about looking cool—it’s about stacking your bones so your muscles don’t have to work overtime.

• Relaxation: Don’t mistake straight for stiff. You’re not a soldier at attention—you’re a monk in meditation. Relax into the posture. Let your body settle. And when the tension creeps in (because it will), breathe into it.

Step 2: The Eyes Have It

Here’s a curveball—Zen keeps the eyes open.

Why? Because life happens with your eyes open, and Zen is about living, not escaping. So lower your gaze, soften your focus, and keep your eyes pointed toward the floor a few feet ahead.

There are no staring contests with the wall or counting floor tiles. Just a gentle gaze that reminds your brain that you are awake but relaxed.

Step 3: Pick Your Sitting Style

You’ve got options when it comes to sitting.

1. Full Lotus (The OG Pose): Both feet rest on opposite thighs. This pose is the most stable and painful if you’re not Gumby.

2. Half Lotus (The Realistic Option): One foot is on the opposite thigh, the other tucked underneath. This position is stable but less stressful on joints.

3. Quarter Lotus (Beginner-Friendly) – Foot resting on the calf, not the thigh. It's comfy and great for mortals.

4. Burmese Style (Lazy Buddha) – Legs uncrossed, feet flat on the mat, knees resting down. Perfect for those who aren’t into yoga pretzels.

5. Chair Sitting (Modern Monk Vibes): Sit on the edge of a chair, feet flat, spine straight. This is ideal if your knees hate you.

Pick your throne, but remember—comfort matters. Nobody reaches enlightenment when their foot falls asleep.

Step 4: The Breath Is the Boss

Now that you’re sitting like a pro, it’s time to breathe. And not just any breath—count it.

• Inhale: One.

• Exhale: Two.

• Inhale: Three.

• Exhale: Four.

Keep going until you hit ten. Then start back at one.

Mess up? Lose count? Start over. No shame.

This isn’t a competition. It’s training for your brain. Every time you get distracted and return to the count, you build mental muscle. That’s the whole point.

Step 5: Timing Is Everything

Morning is the gold standard. Your mind’s fresh, your distractions haven’t piled up yet, and it sets the tone for your whole day.

But the fundamental rule? Every day.

Even if it’s just five minutes, consistency beats intensity every time. Think of meditation like brushing your teeth—you don’t skip it just because you’re tired.

My Battle with Stillness

Let me be blunt—meditation is not easy. The first few weeks were brutal. I fidgeted, my legs went numb, and my mind ran circles around itself.

But here’s the magic—it gets better.

You stop fighting the discomfort. You learn to sit with it. And somewhere along the way, something shifts.

I started noticing things—small things. The way my breath felt in my chest. The sound of my heartbeat. The tension in my jaw that I didn’t even realize was there.

And outside of meditation? My life started changing, too.

• My anxiety didn’t own me anymore.

• I stopped reacting to every little thing that pissed me off.

• I became more patient, more grounded, more… me.

Meditation didn’t make my problems disappear. It just made them manageable.

Why You Need This in Your Life

Look, I’m not going to pretend meditation is some mystical fix-all that will make you levitate or glow with inner peace 24/7. That’s nonsense.

It does make you present. It strips away the noise, chaos, and endless scroll of thoughts in your head and lets you sit with yourself—the real you.

And here’s what I’ve learned: Most people are terrified of being alone.

Meditation forces you to face that fear. To stop running. To sit still and listen. And that’s where the transformation happens.

You don’t need to be perfect. You don’t need to be spiritual. You need to show up, sit down, and breathe.

Because once you master the art of sitting still, you start to see what’s been there all along—clarity, calm, and control.

It’s not magic. It’s training. And it’s worth every second.

Final Thoughts

Meditation isn’t for monks. It’s for anyone tired of feeling scattered, stressed, and out of control.

It’s for people like me who spent their whole lives running and finally decided to stop.

So, if you’re ready to stop running and start facing yourself, pull up a cushion and sit down.

Your mind isn’t going to quiet itself. But trust me—it’s worth the fight.

Until next time,

Anton

Dancer, Writer, Buddhist